There is something I have come to feel very strongly about, that much of the mistakes of the past four month, much of the turbulence of these months, would have never occurred - had I chosen the road of unconditioonal forgiveness from the beginning. I am not at liberty to discuss any details of this period, but I am totally convinced that much of the struggle could have been avoided by unconditional forgiveness on my part - for my own sake.
The only way to advance, and, at times, to survive spiritually, is to live a life of forgiveness. It should not depend on the matter in question, its gravity or how the other person or people or organisations feel about it. Nor does it mean to condone or justify what has been done to you, because of course people do terrible things to other people, that can never be justified or accepted. The problem is, if I do not forgive - it is my heart that becomes hard, it is my life that becomes a compromise, it is my prayers that become hollow, my health, my sanity, my spirituality that suffers. So for me, living in a state of grace, means, first of all, to accept God's forgiveness, which in turn leads me to forgive, unconditionally and at once, whatever wrong may have been done to me.
I suddenly realised again the utter stupidity of trying to be God and instead somehow punishing myself for what has already been done to me. Well, I suppose, that is the value of silence I am living in now, isn't it...
No comments:
Post a Comment